Hi there. The Bills played a road game in Miami on Sunday. Here’s how it went.
No one’s coming to help. Let’s just get through it.
13:32 — Ryan Tannehill intercepted by Nickell Robey, who returns it for a touchdown (7-0 Bills)
Who needs a quarterback when you have a Nickell?
8:26 — Punt. Punt. Punt (7-0 Bills)
Someday that flag won’t be funny. Not today, though.
8:22 — Thad Lewis throws 18-yard pass to Lee Smith (7-0 Bills)
Definitely not the same Thad we saw last week.
7:46 — C.J. Spiller runs for 11-yard gain. Spiller limps off field (7-0 Bills)
I don’t want to live in a world where C.J. Spiller is injured.
5:52 — Fred Jackson runs for 3-yard touchdown (14-0 Bills)
Everyone is hurt. How are they still scoring points?
5:42 — Tannehill throws 18-yard pass to Mike Wallace (14-0 Bills)
And it was going so well.
3:47 — Tannehill throws 14-yard pass to Brian Hartline (14-0 Bills)
Someone get that cornerback a towel.
2:37 — Tannehill intercepted in endzone by Aaron Williams (14-0 Bills)
15:00 — Lewis throws 16-yard screen pass to Jackson (14-0 Bills)
This was on a 3rd and 20. I just wanted to have some good news to start this quarter before it all falls apart.
14:22 — Lamar Miller runs for 30-yard gain (14-0 Bills)
Derp but don’t break.
13:46 — Wallace runs for 14-yard gain (14-0 Bills)
He’s not a running back, dummies.
11:07 — Tannehill throws 7-yard touchdown pass to Charles Clay (14-7 Bills)
8:09 — Punt. Punt (14-7 Bills)
7:07 — Thad Lewis intercepted by deceased E Street saxophonist Clarence Clemons (14-7 Bills)
Nice play, Big Man.
5:55 — Caleb Sturgis misses 51-yard field goal (14-7 Bills)
What a dope.
5:50 — Frank Summers runs for 16-yard gain (14-7 Bills)
Best Bills run of the game came from Frank Summers.
4:38 — Lewis throws 30-yard pass to T.J. Graham (14-7 Bills)
3:19 — Bills kicker kicks 39-yard field goal (17-7 Bills)
Cool, I guess.
1:34 — Punt, punt
Three straight passes for the Bills there. Don’t worry, the defense on the next drive was so bad the Dolphins wouldn’t need those timeouts, anyway.
1:25 — Tannehill throws 17-yard pass to Hartline (17-7 Bills)
1:21 — Tannehill thrws 46-yard pass to Mike Wallace (17-7 Bills)
You said it, suspenders.
0:34 — Gibson runs for 16-yard gain (17-7 Bills)
0:28 — Tannehill throws 13-yard touchdown to Gibson (17-14 Bills)
Not a good look.
Angry eating, because you know what’s coming.
13:29 — Tannehill throws 15-yard pass to Hartline (17-14 Bills)
11:33 — Daniel Thomas runs for 16-yard gain (17-14 Bills)
I’m surprised this didn’t happen more.
10:51 — Tannehill throws 11-yard pass to Wallace (17-14 Bills)
Time to go.
6:53 — Tannehill throws 4-yard touchdown pass to Gibson (21-17 Dolphins)
3:43 — Lewis throws 17-yard pass to Steve Johnson. Dolphins take roughing the passer penalty (21-17 Dolphins)
This may have been the play of the day offensively for the Bills. Lewis is a tough dude.
2:48 — Lewis throws 11-yard pass to Robert Woods (21-17 Dolphins)
14:58 — Bills gain two yards on three plays from the Miami 4. Bills kicker kicks 20-yard field goal (21-20 Dolphins)
Conservative Bills are conservative. Then again, they had half a running back most of the game.
13:29 — Dolphins go 3-and-out, punt (21-20 Dolphins)
10:36 — Bills get one first down, punt (21-20 Dolphins)
5:48 — Dolphins get three first downs, punt (21-20 Dolphins)
Not enough juice.
3:50 — Bills go 3-and-out, punt (21-20 Dolphins)
Not gonna get it done.
2:57 — Tannehill sacked by Mario Williams. Tannehill fumbles (21-20 Dolphins)
What a bum that Mario Williams guy is.
2:37 — Fred Jackson runs for 10-yard gain on 3rd and 4 (21-20 Dolphins)
2:26 — Tashard Choice runs for 5-yard gain to Miami 13 (21-20 Dolphins)
Are we setting up Bills Kicker here?
2:00 — Choice runs for 2-yard gain to Miami 11 (21-20 Dolphins)
They know we can’t run the clock out, yes?
1:19 — Choice runs for 2-yard loss (21-20 Dolphins)
At least he didn’t fumble.
0:36 — Dan Carpenter kicks 31-yard field goal (24-21 Bills)
HIS NAME IS DAN CARPENTER!
0:33 — Bills kick short, Marcus Thigpen returns kick 44 yards to Miami 46 (24-21 Bills)
Dan Carpenter is a fool.
0:23 — Tannehill throws incomplete pass on first down (24-21 Bills)
Gotta crawl before you can walk.
0:19 — Tannehill throws incomplete pass on second down (24-21 Bills)
0:13 — Tannehill throws incomplete pass on third down (24-21 Bills)
0:06 — Tannehill throws incomplete pass on fourth down (24-21 Bills)
This guy? You were worried about this guy?
End of Game
We prefer to say “squished,” Channing.
You, At Work This Week
It’s going to be a cool week. See you next Sunday.