Why, hello. The Bills played a home game against the Cincinnati Bengals on Sunday. Here’s how it went.
It feels like exactly 10 days since the Bills played.
13:47 — Marvin Jones takes end-around for 34-yard gain (0-0 tie)
12:19 — Mike Nugent kicks 46-yard fiel goal (3-0 Bengals)
It’s just three points, lady. Get it together.
11:13 — Thad Lewis throws 47-yard pass to T.J. Graham (3-0 Bengals)
Wait, he can do that?
10:05 — Lewis runs for 3-yard touchdown (7-3 Bills)
Did not see that coming.
7:40 — Andy Dalton throws 42-yard pass to Jones (7-3 Bills)
5:32 — Dalton throws 18-yard touchdown pass to A.J. Green (10-7 Bengals)
That rabbit—and A.J. Green—will ruin your life.
5:01 — C.J. Spiller runs for 10-yard gain (10-7 Bengals)
3:43 — Fred Jackson runs for 11-yard gail (10-7 Bengals)
0:35 — Jackson runs for 1-yard gain on first and goal from the two (10-7 Bengals)
15:00 — Jackson runs for no gain on second and goal (10-7 Bengals)
Three more feet.
14:26 — Jackson runs for no gain on third and goal (10-7 Bengals)
13:46 — Lewis sacked on 4th and goal (10-7 Bengals)
Let’s be clear here: the decision to go for it is fine. The desired decision, really. The problem was the play calling, which was incredibly uninspired. Let’s go to Offensive Coordinator Nate Hackett, who will explain the play calling at the goal line.
11:00 — Dalton throws 54-yard pass to Green (10-7 Bengals)
No one drowns pretty.
8:42 — Dalton throws 20-yard pass to Giovani Bernard (17-7 Bengals)
A Bills field goal totally would have prevented that touchdown.
5:43 — Lewis throws 4-yard pass to Graham. Vontaze Burfict takes unnecessary roughness penalty (17-7 Bengals)
His second of the game. Burfict was the Bills’ best offensive player for a while here.
4:19 — Bills kicker kicks 51-yard field goal (17-10 Bengals)
No free rides on this victory train. Still haven’t had an Old Bills Punter appearance in this game.
3:28 — BenJarvus Green-Ellis runs for 25-yard gain (17-10 Bengals)
Cut it out, man.
1:54 — Dalton intercepted by Jim Leonhard (17-10 Bengals)
0:39 — Bills go three-and-out. Old Bills punter punts out of bounds at the 1 (17-10 Bengals)
Nice job, Old Bills Punter.
Drink up, dingus.
14:51 — Spiller runs for 19-yard gain (17-10 Bengals)
Nope. Definitely still hurt.
13:49 — Lewis scrambles and fumbles. Recovered by Carlos Dunlap (17-10 Bengals)
Thad looked like Practice Squad Quarterback there.
11:43 — Dalton throws incomplete pass. Kyle Williams gets penalty for opening his mouth funny (17-10 Bengals)
It doesn’t matter what he said. It’s a dumb call.
10:56 — Dalton throws 10-yard touchdown pass to Jones (24-10 Bengals)
9:52 — Bills go 3-and-out. Old Bills Punter Punts (24-10 Bengals)
EVERYTHING IS FINE.
1:22 — Nugent makes 24-yard field goal. Holding penalty nullifies it (24-10 Bengals)
1:18 — Nugent misses 34-yard field goal (24-10 Bengals)
12:56 — Punt, punt (24-10 Bengals)
I try not to reuse GIFs, but I will use this one forever.
12:46 — Lewis throws 9-yard pass to Graham (24-10 Bengals)
Now would be a good time to mount a comeback…
10:17 — Lewis throws 22-yard touchdown pass to Scott Chandler (24-17 Bengals)
Good start. Plenty of time.
6:12 — Punt, punt (24-17 Bengals)
2:47 — Bengals punt on 4th and 1 from their 46 (24-17 Bengals)
They get a yard and they win the game. They’ve converted third and short all game. Why is Marvin Lewis allowed to do these things? They deserved to lose for this decision alone.
Looks like the Bills need a big swing in momentum to win this game.
Huh. Where did that come from?
2:00 — Lewis throws 7-yard pass to Jackson on 3rd and 6 (24-17 Bengals)
Six games. All of them entertaining. No complaints.
1:41 — Lewis throws 25-yard pass to Scott Chandler (24-17 Bengals)
This is the perfect comeback GIF. Might be the GIF of the season. So much happening.
1:14 — Lewis throws 40-yard touchdown pass to Marquise Goodwin (24-24 tie)
Let’s go to extras.
13:18 — Dalton throws 23-yard pass to Bernard (24-24 tie)
11:45 — Dalton sacked by Marcel Dareus (24-24 tie)
10:25 — Drive stalls. Bengals punt to Buffalo 7 (24-24 tie)
Points or not, they can’t get pinned back here deep. Need a first down.
10:16 — Spiller runs for 3-yard gain.
9:44 — Spiller runs for 4-yard gain.
9:09 — Lewis throws incomplete pass. Bills punt returned to own 33.
You know what’s coming.
6:49 — Nugent kicks 43-yard field goal (27-24 Bengals)
Damnit. Right in the chest.
End of Game
We should be used to this by now.
You, At Work This Week
You’re a fraud just like the rest of us.
See you next week.