The Bills played a football game against San Francisco on Sunday. Here’s how it went.
No, really. I’m sure it’s going to be fun.
12:15 — Leodis McKelvin returns punt 80 yards for touchdown
Flag on the field.
It’s okay. I’m sure they’ll have plenty of chances to score touchdowns.
7:25 — David Akers kicks 19-yard field goal (3-0 49ers)
Tell ’em, Mr. President.
7:14 — McKelvin returns kickoff 58 yards to 49ers 44 (3-0 49ers)
That cat is fast.
4:29 — On ensuing drive, Bills punter punts (3-0 49ers)
They gained seven yards in almost four minutes on that drive. Inspiring.
10:46 — Rian Lindell kicks 31-yard field goal (3-3 tie)
Savor this moment, people. It is the apex of your existence.
10:31 — Alex Smith completes 36-yard pass to Michael Crabtree (3-3 tie)
The defense held last ti-
9:54 — Smith throws 43-yard touchdown pass to Kyle Williams (10-3 49ers)
I don’t think they’re getting up from that.
0:49 — Colin Kaepernick runs for 6-yard gain, fumbles. Marcel Dareus recovers (10-3 49ers)
So you’re saying there’s a chance?
0:29 — Ryan Fitzpatrick throws 11-yard pass to Scott Chandler, who fumbles. Dashon Goldson recovers (10-3 49ers)
0:29 — Smith throws 28-yard touchdown pass to Crabtree (17-3 49ers)
Go do some housework. Save yourself.
11:50 — Bills punter punts after receiving ball to start quarter (17-3 49ers)
9:06 — Frank Gore runs for 1-yard touchdown (24-3 49ers)
7:00 — Chris Culliver intercepts Fitzpatrick near end zone (24-3 49ers)
14:12 — Smith throws 10-yard touchdown pass to Mario Manningham (31-3 49ers)
Boom goes the dynamite.
9:55 — Colin Kaepernick runs for 16-yard touchdown (38-3 49ers)
No one cries pretty.
1:11 — Anthony Dixon runs for 3-yard touchdown (45-3 49ers)
At this point my eyes filled with blood and everything looked really Virtual Boy to me. I’m going to assume it actually looked like this.
End of Game
You, at Work This Week
See you next Sunday.