A Conversation On Michael Vick I Had With My Dog

by Corey

A conversation between myself and my eight-year old Siberian Husky, Merry, on Michael Vick and his current standing in the NFL and our society at large.

Corey: “So you saw the footage of Mike Vick after the Philly/New York game, right? Where he was talking about the calls he doesn’t get?”

Merry: “Like phone calls?”

Corey: “No, like roughing the passer calls.”

Merry: “Wow that’s a real shame I hope he figures that out what with all of the terrible things that have happened to him in his life.”

Corey: “You are totally being sarcastic.”

Merry: “Sure.”

Corey: “But the dude is getting straight lit.”

Merry: “Yeah I try not to watch him.”

Corey: “Still? Still with this?”

Merry: “What do you mean ‘still’?”

Corey: “I don’t know, you act like he didn’t go to jail or anything. Did I miss the part where he was incarcerated? I thought I saw that in the papers.”

Merry: “No, you saw right, he went to jail for killing a bunch of people.”

Corey: “He didn’t kill people…”


Corey: “Alright, calm down. Keep your fur on.”

Merry. We have these kinds of talks a lot.

Merry: “…just glossing over the carcass man.”

Corey: “Yo what’s the point of sending a dude to jail if there is no redemption on the other end, and the punishment isn’t seen as a punishment?”

Merry: “What, like I’m just supposed to move on from the rape stand?”

Corey: “He. Went. To. Jail.”

Merry: “Rape. Stand.”

Corey: “What do you even care? They were Pit Bulls and you’re a Husky. It ain’t even your jurisdiction.”

Merry: “That’s racist.”

Corey: “Gyah…wha… what?!”

Merry: “What just because we’re different breeds means I can’t care?”

Corey: “That’s not what I… good Lord you didn’t even answer my question anyway.”

Merry: “I forgot what it was.”

Corey: “That’s cause your brain is the size of a walnut.”

Merry: “Whatever. You’re the one watching Tony Dungy talk.”

Corey: “Boom!”

Merry: “”That’s word.”

Corey: “But yo seriously is there just no hope for this guy ever? He all comes running out of a burning barn with 15 puppies…”

Merry: “I’m going to think he set the fire.”

Corey: “So no redemption. No shot.”

Merry: “I don’t know him. What’s it to me if he has reformed or not? Why do I even have to consider it?”

Corey: “Don’t you think there are greater consequences to this?”

Merry: “I don’t know man. My head is starting to hurt.”

Corey: “Walnut.”

Merry: “Yo can you rub my butt? It itches.”

Corey: “Absolutely not.”

Merry: “But that’s totally what owners do!”

Corey: “…….alright.”