Insert joke about “heads rolling” here…
Well, it can’t get much worse than last week. Trust me, that was the worst football game I’ve ever seen, through and through. Uneven pace, awful quarterbacking on both sides, and game management that bordered on lunacy. But yeah, Bills/Browns at the Ralph. Like I said, it can’t get much worse.
Consider this your gameday prep.
Announcers: Don Criqui, Randy Cross
( I would make a joke about this being the Q team, but honestly, this sounds about right. Bad game, bad announcers.)
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Things Worth Knowing/Mocking/Reading
– I still think this Tweet is applicable at all times. I’ve never watched a less interested football player than I did last week while watching T.O. I had a hard time blaming him last week, but still. Consider his Implosion Alert a constant code Orange. Seriously, we’re another two-catch outing from Owens ripping Trent Edwards’ jawbone off.
I seen’t it.
– Cleveland’s defense is awful, so there’s absolutely no excuse for the Bills not to put up at least 25 points. Then again, we said the same thing about this team on Monday night last year, and we all know how that worked out.
– Eric Mangini is coaching the Browns now. It’s nice we get to use that tag again, isn’t it?
– It’s the return of Robert Royal! We don’t nearly hate Royal as much as Michael Gaines, but still… screw Robert Royal!
Your Weekly Bill Simmons Quote About the Bills (Sort of)
One of my two Underdog Locks of the Week: Cleveland 24, Buffalo 13. Hey, how ’bout some dude on the Browns named Massaquoi slapping up a monster fantasy day in Week 4, followed by millions putting in a Week 5 waiver request without knowing how to spell his name, or even what his first name is. Love when that happens. He should just drop his first name and go by “Massaquoi.” And by the way, when you’re saying the words, “Man, I hope I get Massaquoi” (like I did last night), and it’s Week 5, it’s probably not a good sign for your fantasy year.
(By the way, I enjoyed the Dick Jauron era.)
Like I said, sort of.
Obligatory “Get Pumped” Video
Like we said, GET PUMPED!
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