Purple. Yellow. Sad.

by Ryan

Perhaps it’s because I found it on TBN’s website, but this story is absolutely stunning.

Now I know what you’re thinking and yes, Chris Brustuen may or may not have a Facebook. But that’s not the point. The larger issue is that when you Google Chris Brustuen, you get a story about Brett Favre.

Now I’m not going to FJM the entire post, becuase that’s ridiculous. Please read it and let’s go after the parts that truly bother me.

So the married father of two went online and found a Web site advertising Vikings No. 4 jerseys with “FAVRE” on the back, and he didn’t hesitate to plunk down $45 to order one. It arrived in the mail from overseas on July 21, and Brustuen was ecstatic to be ahead of the pack.

Wait, exactly what kind of “jersey” is this? I think it’s pretty common knowledge that legitimate jerseys cost more than $45 bucks. In fact the base price for this kind of thing is around $80, unless you’re getting one of those crappy RBK shirt-things that have “elements” of jersey to them but lack the NFL shield and say the team name just under the V neck. But those suck.

So the guy you’re using for the major quotes of this story was gullible enough to not only A) believe and want Brett Favre on his football team clearly not located in Wisconson, but also B) spend money on a fake Brett Favre jersey from an unquestionably shady website.

Sounds solid, carry on.

The Vikings have sold out 115 consecutive games dating back to Randy Moss’s first season in purple in 1998. But without a star quarterback to help Adrian Peterson sell tickets, and with some fans still holding Childress’s 6-10 record in his first season as coach three years ago against him, there is some work left to do this season.

The italics are mine but let’s talk about Purple Jesus first. I mean, do you really need a marque quarterback to “help sell tickets” when you have Adrian fucking Peterson? I know the Metrodome holds over 64,000 people, but you think adding an above-average quarterback to take away touches from Purple Jesus is the cure? I’m sorry, but if Peterson can drop 200 yards on any given Sunday, I’m not looking for the long ball ten times a game.

Of course a better quarterback would be nice, but let’s get to the italics. Is Jon Krawczynski really implying Vikings fans are still bitter about THREE YEARS AGO? I think the fact that Brad Childress clearly has a low ceiling as a NFL head coach is the larger issue, as well as the fact that he refuses to run Peterson into the ground like fans really want to see.

I’ve read this a number of times now, and I’m still failing to see the point of the piece. The Twitter recap of this column looks something like this:

“One man sad, confused. New stadium? Favre good for business, get stadium. Maybe. Peterson not enough. Man owes $1. Purple. Yellow. Sad.”

And I had five characters to go. The point is that there wasn’t much in the way of new information in that piece, and a lot of the logic seems like bullshit anyway. It’s almost as if someone told him to “write a Brett Favre story” and this is what he came up with.

In that case, not bad.