Why The Lakers Will Win

by Rich

The title of this post says it all:  the Lakers are going to win the NBA Finals this year, and that’s that. What, you may ask, is my reasoning for this? Well yeah,  last night LA did beat the hell out of an Orlando team that just looked happy to be there, but that’s hardly relevant.

Ignore last night’s 25-point win by the Lakers. Ignore the fact that Kobe dropped 40 points (18 in the third) in the process. If you want to, you can even ignore the fact that the Mamba’s performance in Game 1 was only the fourth 40-8-8 game in NBA Finals history; incidentally, the other 3 guys to do it are Shaq, Jordan and a guy named Jerry West who the basketball-impaired probably know only as the dude from the NBA logo.

If you want to know why the Lakers will win this series, the answer is simple: Weezy. Lil Wayne’s status as a one of the more vocal celebrity sports nuts has been cemented in the past year, as he’s appeared in Nike and Gatorade commercials, penned columns for ESPN, and now released “Kobe Bryant.” The meaning is clear: like the Super Bowl Shuffle of the 1985 Bears, the Lakers will ride this musical momentum to their 15th title.

Clearly, Orlando’s only hope in this series is to harness the ill rhymes of  noted lyricist JJ Redick. Actually, on second thought…the Lakers should just order Wayne a case or two of Promethazine syrup and a gross of Swishers now. Might save some time in planning the championship party.