Should We Call Someone?

by Ryan

APTOPIX Sabres Capitals Hockey

Pretty cool picture, especially when you consider it was taken in Washington. The Sabres are celebrating, the fans are celebrating, good times all around. But wait, let’s take another look at that photo.


What’s going on here? Is that elation or terror on that young boy’s face? I mean, either he’s jumping for joy or being kidnapped right before our eyes.

If you ask me, the kidnapping seams more plausible. I don’t know many people who wear a Caps jersey to a hockey game and take a young boy wearing a blank Sabres jersey along with them. That’s just… strange. Even more strange when you consider that the older gentleman helped the boy celebrate after the team ripped his heart out. That’s downright charitable if you ask me.

So the answer that makes more sense is that Mr. Caps Jersey is angry about the goal and wants payback. Since the team will head to the airport before anything truly nefarious can go down, child abduction is the next best option. Get him while he’s happy, minimize crying; and escape with the crowd.

If he causes a scene on the way out, so be it. If anything it will look like a father punishing his turncoat son for the loss. That’s not illegal, that’s just bad parenting. Loophole! And what are you doing raising a boy that’s not a Caps fan? I’d guess a few thousand people would like to supply that father with a belt or two.

If we are sure of the latter situation (and by now we are), what should we do with this information? Perhaps the boy is visible because he is crying out for help. The cameraman has caught our victim being pulled down by his captor, and his appearance is a desperate plea for rescue on cable television. Should we call someone? Check for missing persons reports? Does Gretta need to be notified of this?

I’ll leave it up to you guys to help me decide. Today, fine readership, you will serve as my moral compass. You must lead me on the path of justice.


  1. MarthMarth

    That adult is wearing a Buffalo Sabres baseball cap. Check twoeightnine’s video.

    I hate tools like that. You can’t wear two different team’s clothing like that.