Who is Nanerpus?

by Ryan

Now for the second objective… which prospect should be named “Nanerpus”?

My first guess is Tim Kennedy, but I suppose that’s not fair because he didn’t knock his own teeth out. The cut on his lip looked pretty bad last night, but he said it was “okay” during the postgame interviews.

So who else? I honestly don’t see that name sticking to anyone on the Pirates. To be frank, they just don’t have someone who looks like a one-eyed banana octopus with a moustache. But what about another long lost Sabres prospect?

Mike Ryan.

These days Ryan plays for Albany, which means he’s property of the Carolina Hurricanes. In theory this means we should dislike him, but it’s hard to have ill feelings for a mediocre hockey player bouncing around the minor leagues. He’s been tearing it up for the River Rats this season, but I’ve never thought anything of actually disliking him.

By the end of last night’s game, the fans were booing Mike Ryan. Ryan was starting trouble all night, fighting with Pirates and generally being a nuisance. He was screaming at teammates when he was open in the slot, even though the River Rat was scraping himself off the wall after a hit. Clearly he considers himself above all this minor league hockey nonsense, and he plays like it.

So why should we call him Nanerpus? Well, think about what the commercial is trying doing. Dennys wants you to dislike him because he looks ridiculous, and clearly isn’t a Grand Slam. However, in the end you actually just think the whole thing is just funny. That’s exactly what happened last night with Mike Ryan. If you are a Pirates fan at that game last night you’re supposed to boo him for being a jerk, but every time that roar went up I had to laugh. Why boo a banana sitting on a stack of pancakes? Plus, Nanerpus would totally start a fight after the other team scores a goal.

So there you have it. Mike Ryan = Nanerpus. I’m glad we cleared this up.