In Buffalo we call it tailgating. In college it’s called “pregaming.” Tailgating is oftentimes the best part of going to football games, as any Bills fan knows that sometimes the on field performance doesn’t match the intensity of the parking lot gatherings. There is nothing like walking up to the stadium passing gril busses, fire pits, and big screen televisions to get fired up for a football game.
Pregaming, on the other hand, is just a fancy way of saying “I need to be drunk for this.” Attending your little sister’s dance recital? Dude, let’s pregame that s#@t. Leery about that doctor’s appointment? If you pregame you know it’ll be a good time. You can pregame pretty much anything. Court dates, final exams, baby showers. Forget pregaming the wedding, you pregame the wedding rehearsal.
And that’s why this is the greatest idea in the history of human civilization.
“You know what would be cool? Getting bombed in a mall parking lot at midnight and then going f#$king shopping!”
Whoever came up with this deserves a raise. Immediately. Happy Thanksgiving, genius. What better crowd of people to put at a high end shopping mall than a bunch of Bills fans? Don’t you need some Juicy after eating turkey for 11 hours? You know it. I’ve been thinking about a new Coach purse to match my unbuckled belt, too. Probably something gravy-colored.
And I know what you’re thinking: there’s no mention of beer. C’mon people, this is a tailgate party. There will be beer. Lots of it. Besides, that’s about the only thing that could get most people to a mall at midnight.