This is a Great Idea

by Ryan

In Buffalo we call it tailgating. In college it’s called “pregaming.” Tailgating is oftentimes the best part of going to football games, as any Bills fan knows that sometimes the on field performance doesn’t match the intensity of the parking lot gatherings. There is nothing like walking up to the stadium passing gril busses, fire pits, and big screen televisions to get fired up for a football game.

Pregaming, on the other hand, is just a fancy way of saying “I need to be drunk for this.” Attending your little sister’s dance recital? Dude, let’s pregame that s#@t. Leery about that doctor’s appointment? If you pregame you know it’ll be a good time. You can pregame pretty much anything. Court dates, final exams, baby showers. Forget pregaming the wedding, you pregame the wedding rehearsal.

And that’s why this is the greatest idea in the history of human civilization.

“You know what would be cool? Getting bombed in a mall parking lot at midnight and then going f#$king shopping!”

Whoever came up with this deserves a raise. Immediately. Happy Thanksgiving, genius. What better crowd of people to put at a high end shopping mall than a bunch of Bills fans? Don’t you need some Juicy after eating turkey for 11 hours? You know it. I’ve been thinking about a new Coach purse to match my unbuckled belt, too. Probably something gravy-colored.

And I know what you’re thinking: there’s no mention of beer. C’mon people, this is a tailgate party. There will be beer. Lots of it. Besides, that’s about the only thing that could get most people to a mall at midnight.


  1. Jill

    Tomorrow’s inane observation: Ryan Miller’s eyes, lazy or crooked eyebrows?

    I’m still waiting for this… LOL!

  2. Heather

    Maybe you pregame at college up here but if you go to major college football schools, the tailgates are right up there with the Bills. I recommend Auburn and Ole Miss. Just had to throw that out there.

    Still, that is quite a funny idea.

  3. the l cave

    who. are. you.?

  4. Dave

    i do believe greg monin and all them got really hammered last year for black friday……

    someone from 97 rock prolly seen em pushing down old ladies in gap and stole the idea

  5. yorkroberts

    I pregame for work every morning.

  6. peter-usrt

    Hmmm…..Oxford, MS and Auburn, AL…two joints we haven’t hit…..yet. Sigh….

  7. TheTick

    I’d be okay if that young lady was the one ‘exposing herself’.

    Wait, this isn’t Deadspin? Never mind.