No Punch Line Necessary

by Ryan

Question: What do Phil Kessel and Hitler have in common?

Apparently, they both have one testicle.

Still, I’d rather have him on my team than Andrej Sekera, who once again reverted to “balls” form tonight. Actually, the whole team was balls. All of them.

Okay, except Atlas Vanek, who was fantastic once again. If not for Thomas this would be a .500 team with a bleak future. Instead, they are a 9-6-3 team with a bleak future. Vanek has played well all year, but where has the rest of the team been?

The Sabres wasted another great start by playing awful, awful defense. Miller wasn’t fantastic, but the guys in front of him didn’t exactly help him out. Tallinder had another all-world giveaway, and Teppo didn’t play smart hockey either. I have no idea how Rivet wound up a +2, but I suppose that only shows you how badly Teppo, Sekera, and Hank played.

What happened to this defense? Finally at full strength and still playing like last year’s lazy group of waywards. Suddenly the goals for/against totals are even at 54 and we are looking at another tough weekend with very few answers. How do you fix a team that keeps saying the same things need to be fixed? Get pucks deep. Play smart. Simplify things. Okay, those are all good ideas. When does that start happening? Next game? The game after that?

A few quick things while I try to forget about this week:

– Did anyone see this?

Yeah, f#$k you pretty boy. The all star voting is a complete joke at this point, but there’s no way I’m wasting my vote on you.

– Marc Savard. He ALWAYS kills us, and he was all over the scoresheet tonight. Why do we boo Chara when this guy is the one scoring all the big goals against us?

Actually that’s all I have for you. I swear to God this week has taken a year off my life. We will have plenty to talk about, but is it just me that suddenly dreads this weekend? I can’t take much more of this, I’m really starting to hate everything about everything.

The Ferrunginous Pygmy-Owl goes to God, who clearly wants some sort of recognition for his handiwork this week. You win, man, you win.


  1. Anonymous

    “If not for Thomas this would be a .500 team with a bleak future. Instead, they are a 9-6-3 team with a bleak future.”
    I don’t want to pile on to your bad week, but 6+3=9, so I would say that the Sabres ARE a .500 team with an equal number of wins and losses. Maybe you were just being clever?
    Good post either way.
    Jesse H.

  2. BKR

    OTLs are ties.

    He’s clever, but wasn’t “being clever” in that sense.

  3. Anne


    Keep Vanek and a few others on a conditional basis and take the rest of them out to the desert and leave them there to think about what they’ve done… or haven’t done.