Obits, the Lions, and Fine: This is Preseason

by Ryan

If you don’t read sort of girly gossip/news sites run by Nick Denton, you may not know that Bloomberg has been updating the obituary of Steve Jobs, that guy from Apple who sold 152.8 million iPods while you weren’t looking. If you don’t know, Jobs has pancreatic cancer and there are some concerns his health is failing, so I guess they have some reason to do so.

I’d imagine this kind of things is pretty common in the news world, as there is a reason the AP can get a death notice up and running so quickly. However, this got me to thinking about local news agencies. More specifically, does the Buffalo News have an obituary ready for Ralph Wilson?

I bet they do, and at this point I wonder what it says about him. It is pretty obvious that the next great franchise crisis will arrive the day he passes into that great luxury suite in the sky, and I wonder what kind of legacy that will leave him with. Most obits are very kind to the deceased, but who knows if Sully or Bucky can get to the copy before it gets sent to press.

So the Bills play the Lions tonight, and I will once again miss it. Sometime this weekend I will watch seven hours of scrub football and feel prepared for the regular season. Sometime.

The “will he or won’t he” regarding Trent playing doesn’t really bother me, I think he’s going to start the season no matter what, and if J.P. gets to throw a few to Lee against the Lions, well, good for them. Maybe after the game they can go out and get some of those friendship bracelets or something. (You know what they should make? Some bracelets that break into threes…)

One thing that does make me wonder is the injury to Derek Fine. He seemed, well, fine until Russ Brandon texted me yesterday. I wonder how that went down at the doctors’ office.

Dr. Hecl: So Mr… uh, I’ve been looking over your charts here and it looks like you are going to be… Fine, Derek.

Derek: Really? Doc, this hurts pretty bad. Maybe you should look it over again?

Dr. Hecl: Well, I suppose so, but the paperwork I see here says you are quite Fine. It says it right at the top.

Derek: It’s just my thumb, Doc, could you take a look?

Dr. Hecl: Yes, Fine, let me see.

{Grabs hand}

Derek: OOOOOOWWW! Yeah, that’s it! My thumb!

Dr. Hecl: Well, it appears you are certainly not Fine.

Derek: Okay, Doc. (Rubs thumb) Should I get ready for surgery?

Dr. Hecl: Oh hevans no, son. We only have an insurance card on file from a Mr. Fine. You are clearly anything but Fine…

This post sponsored by Abbott and Costello, who remind you that “I don’t know” really is an appropriate term for A-Rod.

One Comment

  1. parker91

    Ralph’s so old that I’d bet you dollars to doughnuts that the Courier-Express had an obit on file just in case.