by Ryan

There are a lot of good things coming out of Tropicana Field these days. The Rays are an exciting team and have the division lead; and even as a Sox fan I appreciate the talent on the roster. However, I have to agree with Fire Joe Morgan and say that this is f$%king stupid.

This is Dr. Stat, who fills fans’ minds with “useless information” and makes them incapable of enjoying the wonderful game of baseball.

Look at that nerd, with his big glasses and pocket calculator, ready to compute someone’s on base percentage in a jiffy. What a poor excuse for a baseball fan, the kind that knows what VORP is.

Did you know that Evan Longoria’s OPS is .890? Wait, that doesn’t matter, because Evan Longoria looks like a baseball player, so he must be pretty good.

In other news, we are the second result when you google “Swoopy Nipples“, so that must count for something.


  1. TheTick

    No way dude, you are numero uno for that particular search now.

    Congratulations. My site was apparently number one for ‘jochen hecht daughter’ for some odd reason.

  2. Rich

    Aaaahhhh! Run for your lives! VORPies!