Report Card

by Ryan & Rich

Tyler Myers
Tyler Ennis
Luke Adam
Corey Fienhage
Justin Jokinen
Jordon Southorn
Jacob Lagace
Nick Crawford

Those are the names that we drafted this weekend.

Yeah, they are human beings and might someday play for the blue and gold, but for right now they are just names. We haven’t seen much of anything from these kids, let alone how well they perform at the NHL level. So this makes me wonder this: how the hell do you know if you drafted well?

From Bob McKenzie’s blog:

Friday marked the first time I’ve worked a draft with Pierre McGuire when he didn’t go off on somebody for making an absolutely terrible pick, and that’s because the depth in this draft pool was very good. We had many more positives than negatives to report on this group of prospects.

No offense Bob, but Pierre was practically orgasmic after every selection. I don’t think he would have objected if the Islanders traded the 5th pick for a stack of pancakes, which they pretty much did.

Seriously, the Sabres announced the Myers pick and I swear Pierre went, “THIS IS THE GREATEST PICK IN THIS HISTORY OF 2008 12TH OVERALL PICKS!!!” I know the guy was satisfied with the depth of the draft, but he could have at least mentioned Colten Teubert or the third rounder we gave up or something. Not everything that glitters is gold; I don’t care how much makeup Stamkos had on. Not every player drafted will see the big leagues, so don’t be such a giver.

With Pierre in mind, we really wanted to give the Sabres’ draft class a grade of some sort. The categories will have nothing to do with actual ability, and will rely completely on aesthetic appeal and personal opinion. Of course, they will be graded on a scale 1-5 of “Pierres”. Let’s do this thing.

Symmetry

Like a beautiful butterfly, the Sabres draft class aligns perfectly with itself in many ways. Darcy drafted two kids named “Tyler”, and in both rounds that yielded two picks, we selected players with the same first letter in their first name. (Round 1: Tyler Squared, Round 4: Justin and Jordon) In fact, we picked three consecutive players with the letter “J” starting their first name; the first time in team history. That’s almost as impressive as the time they drafted three “Brad”s in 1990. So yeah, we got that going for us…

The name “Tyler Myers” is also pretty fantastic in this regard. His first and last name are both five letters, and three of those letters are interchangeable between the two. Out of those two sets of letters that differ, the “S” from his last name and “T” from his first are consecutive in the alphabet, as well as the “L” and “M”. Okay, I think I’m going to lie down for a bit now.

4 out of 5 Pierres

REEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAACH!!!

One of the best parts of watching the draft is getting to yell that out. The Sabres did a good job opening the door to that this weekend, reaching into the second round to draft Tyler Ennis 26th overall. They also caught Central Scouting off guard by drafting Nick Crawford in the 6th round. They didn’t even have a profile ready for the kid because they didn’t think anyone would draft him this year, meaning he was taken at least 46 picks ahead of their numbers. Awesome.

3 out of 5 Pierres

Likelihood Don Cherry Will Hate Them

None of them are European.

However, they will play for the Sabres.

5 out of 5 Pierres

Ease of Pronunciation (Because “Pronouncability” isn’t a word…)

Looking good here. There may not be much to scream when they score goals, but at least you can look at the roster and not need to conjugate any verbs. Corey Fienhage may have some spelling issues (even Sabres.com is having trouble), and I wouldn’t want to be a telemarketer for the Southorn residence, but other than that the draft class still looks easier than the first round of a spelling bee.

4 out of 5 Pierres

Players That Sound Like NHL Players

Darcy really cleaned up here. Although he didn’t draft a Staal, he made sure to bother people searching last names on Hockey Reference. Justin Jokinen is the big winner in this group, but Nick Crawford and Jacob Lagace will also contribute in the coming years. Plus Luke Adam has two first names, so you know that’s going to screw someone up eventually.

4 out of 5 Pierres

Nickname Potential

Not much happening here. Although if you mash “TylerEnnis” together it sounds like a communicable disease of some sort. The big/little parallel of the Tylers may work in time, but as the years pass the importance of your draft class diminishes and no one will care.

1 1/2 out of 5 Pierres

Overall grade for the draft? Triple Q Minus. Hey, it makes sense to me.

2 Comments

  1. dani

    Pierre was very entertaining.

  2. Anne

    “Justin” Jokinen really tripped me up. I thought I was going cross-eyed. I was like “Jussi Jokinen already plays in the NHL… have we started putting existing players back in the draft? Can we draft Orpik? Wait. Justi?… Oh, Justin? not Jussi? oh.”