Moneymobile Shifts to Beast Mode, Injures One

by Ryan

Marshawn Lynch has finally gotten into the swing of being an NFL player, becoming involved in his first criminal activity since he fibbed about those cookies he ate before dinner in 1991.

To be completely honest, I’m completely underwhelmed by the entire incident. This isn’t cop punching, this is an investigation about someone getting slightly hurt outside of a bar at 3:30 AM. Ten bucks says she looked/sounded like a dolphin, which would make this even more okay.

Question is, what does a car driven by Marshawn Lynch look like? I really, really hope they release some footage of the “sport utility vehicle”, but my expectations are nothing short of spectacular considering how well he treats his own grill.

However, it may never rival the straight up baller-ness that is Lawrence Maroney’s Kool Aid Denali, complete with matching bling and construda case.

One can only hope he comes close to that perfection really nice effort.

2 Comments

  1. dani

    Ten bucks says she looked/sounded like a dolphin, which would make this even more okay.

    Line of the day. Hope she was.

    Question is, what does a car driven by Marshawn Lynch look like?

    Pimped out, not doubt. I tried looking for some pictures actually. Unfortunately, girls/grown women don’t stalk his car like they do the Sabres. Maybe Losman.

  2. spavery

    On channel four they said it was an SUV made by Porsche.