Golden Mullets, Schadenfreude, and the Man-Power Advantage

by Ryan

When you are watching a game in a Cone of Silence, you tend to have some time to kill. So, I started thinking back on how Versus has been covering the playoffs so far. I really would prefer watching CBC all the time, but I can’t get an HD feed here in the states. So… with my TV determining how I watch hockey I thought I’d post about it. Here’s what I came up with:

Crowd Shots– So far so good. The schadenfreude from Game Three in Philly was pretty sweet, but perhaps they should utilize the dead air in overtime by showing worried faces in the crowd, much like Fox started doing with baseball in 2004. As much as it has become overkill these days, it is interesting to see how people take crushing defeat, especially when it is “the other team.”

Ed Olczyk– This has been said elsewhere, but you are not allowed to criticize the Penguins when you went 31-64-8-10 with them until you were fired and a minor league coach subsequently took them to the playoffs. Yes, MAF has gotten better and it’s a small sample size, but you couldn’t finish higher than 5th with Sid, Malkin, Gonchar, and a handful of first round picks. I don’t care what you think about the Pens powerplay, get your win percentage over Don Cherry’s BAC and we’ll talk.

The Commercials- The Good:

Solid. Nicely cut. No matter how many times I see it I get excited about hockey.

The Bad:

Congratulations, Versus, you just killed soul. Now Marlena Shaw may be the devil, and I may not ever be able to buy dress pants without trying to beat myself to death with the iron. I should stick to dry cleaning, I think.

The In-Game Interview- TV timeouts come with the first whistle after the 14, 10, and 6 minute marks of each period, unless it comes during a power play. This means that many times the whistle will come with a penalty call, resulting in a power play starting after the stoppage.

Now… one of the most annoying things in the history of mankind is when a power play is interrupted by ANYTHING. This includes you forgetting to flip back to the proper channel after 90 seconds, a picture-in-picture window left on the screen, and an interview taking up a quarter of the screen. Seriously, Versus, what the hell? It’s bad enough you decide to talk to Tom Glavine during an even strength situation, but to talk to ANYONE during a power play? Do you guys even like hockey?

I mean, does some woman pop up to talk to the deer’s mother in the middle of a hunting show? Didn’t think so. Keep your interviews for intermission and in case there is a delay. I don’t care what Mr. Willa Ford’s sister’s mother’s second cousin’s ferret’s name is. At the very least can it until the next TV timeout when there isn’t a game-changing power play taking place.

Studio Crew-

Good Lord that is some hair.

[Thanks to The Sports Hernia for taking the screenshot I was afraid to…]

Shootout Camera Angles- I know it’s the playoffs and this point is irrelevant, but that “behind the shooter” angle is freaking garbage. On a shootout it is preferable if you can actually see the back of the net so as to tell if it is a goal or not. When your angle puts two people and 30 lbs of padding in between you and that white paint, that sucks.

Don’t fix what isn’t broken. As awful as some sight lines are in the older arenas, it’s a better gig than what you are tying to give us. People watch 65 minutes of hockey and can’t even see it end. What is this, The Heidi Game?

If there is anything else I forgot, you know where to put it. And if you think I’m just jealous of Engblom’s hair, well, you got me.