Knowledge is Power

“Red Sox Nation? What a bunch of [expletive] that is. That was a creation of the Red Sox and ESPN, which is filled with Red Sox fans.

Go anywhere in America and you won’t see Red Sox hats and jackets, you’ll see Yankee hats and jackets. This is a Yankee country. We’re going to put the Yankees back on top and restore the universe to order.”- Hank Steinbrenner

Things I’ve learned from this quote:

1. Sean Salisbury is a Yankees fan. It just makes so much sense now.

2. In all the history of time and space the universe has only been in order a mere 26 years. That explains a lot as well. For example, people ordering food while on their cell phone. Or not getting that little package of mixed nuts on your flights anymore. Or SARS.

3. Bad things never happen while the Yankees are champions. Like Pearl Harbor. Or 9/11.

Now I know what Hank actually means, but I just can’t believe the words are actually coming out of his mouth. Really, what’s the point in all this? I as much as anyone hate the whole Official Red Sox Nation thing they are pawning on us, mostly because I don’t need a card in my wallet to tell me what team I root for. Still, don’t you dare tell me I don’t exist. As a Sox fan not living in Boston, I make a point of knowing what is going on with my team.

Sure, there are some “fans” that will see one of my non-existent hats and tell me how much they love Jonathan Papelbon yet not know who Keith Foulke is. I’ve had to put up with my fair share of pink hats and people who just think that “B” has nice font. At the same time, I know someone who fills one of those hats and can give you the scouting report of every player we have in our farm system, as well as his own personal opinion of him. I guess you take the good with the bad.

It is a stupid quote, and one meant to do exactly what it has: stir some people up. Most people know, especially those from Buffalo, that a team’s fanbase will show up in a surprising number of places to form the “Nation” moniker Hank takes offense to. People shuffle across this country from place to place but very rarely do they forget their home. What resonates with a displaced citizen more then a city’s food and sports teams?

There is no merit to an argument of which team has better fans in better places. You can tally up anything you’d like, any generalities and stereotypes you can remember and you still don’t have real proof. Somewhere out there is a nice Flyers fan, a skinny Packers fan, and even a Marlins fan. I’d make the same guess for a Yankee fan from Cambridge and a Sox fan from Brooklyn.

Whether Hank wants to admit it or not, it happens and the numbers are there for both sides.

I guess it just goes to show you that the old saying is true: the apple doesn’t fall far from the douchebag.

6 Comments

  1. CW aka Chad Sexington®

    Sean Salisbury has gone on the record as saying he’s a Red Sox fan. Obnoxious, white, unemployed, a dumbass… it makes sense.

  2. Ryan

    Point well taken. I guess Chris Carter really does just have better hands…

  3. Anonymous

    Salisbury is definitely a Sawks fan…He grew up in CA, but is ironically a beantown backer.

  4. Anonymous

    I can’t believe Deadspin (even Suss) linked to anything so unfunny and pointless. Weak.

  5. Tommie

    You a fag.

  6. Anonymous

    Hank is a bit of a putz but I have to admit to laughing my ass off after reading his comments regarding the shit that is “Red Sox Nation”. It really is a bunch of crap invented by NESPN – so what if Hank had the balls to call them out? Big deal – at least someone in this ridiculous, overplayed rivalry has a set. Figures it would be a Yankee.