Weighing the Options

by Ryan

So by my count there are three possible winners of tonight’s Super Bowl:

1. Giants
2. Patriots
3. The Terrorists

However, I have a nagging feeling that a win for the Patriots is a win for the terrorists as well.

“Weellllkaaaaah”

Being a Bills fan on Super Bowl Sunday is always a difficult feat, but this year it will be especially trying. If there are two teams that I truly dislike, the Patriots and Giants are atop that list. The only thing worse then a Giants/Patriots Super Bowl would be a Cowboys/Patriots Super Bowl, and with that I would rather just shoot myself in the face and lay on the couch for three hours.

There are reasons for this dislike, you know; and that’s what I’m here to cover today.

For the Giants, I happen to have this picture handy:

Wow. Wooooooow.

First of all, who in their right mind gets a Super Bowl XXV jersey customized to say “Wide Right” on the front? That’s a $250 jersey to begin with, let alone the custom name plate to celebrate someone else’s failure. Then factor in those custom license plates (How many cars did this guy go through? Does he work for the DMV?) and you’ve got a douchebag on almost unheard of levels.

Now I know most Giants fans aren’t anywhere near this guy, but people like that certainly turn you against them, especially when you have a family friend that brings up the clock management of Bill Parcells in Super Bowl XXV at every gathering.

For the Patriots the rage may be a bit more obvious. I mean, have you watched a football game over the past few years? Watch one, any game with any two teams and the Patriots are going to be mentioned at least twice. They are that good, I will readily admit that. Still, it bothers the crap out of me that they are in our division, (why is every undefeated team in NFL history in the AFC East?!?) and the smug is at an all-time high.

Still, I will always have this picture to make me feel better:

I think that’s his “Blue Steel”.

So who do I want to win tonight? I really have no idea.

Well I don’t want to see the terrorists win because that’s just un-American. I think I wil end up pulling for the Giants, just because my Patriots rage really is that strong. There is something goofy about Eli Manning winning a Super Bowl trophy, giving hope to all boys who didn’t speak until they were three years old.

Yeah, let’s go with that. Enjoy the game, everyone.