The All Balls Team

by Ryan


Keith Ballard (Phoenix)- Here are his numbers: 4G, 10A, 14P, +4, 61PIM. Not bad for 49 games. Still, he makes the team for the following:

That second D flailing like an Italian soccer player? That’s Kieth Ballard. Also, here’s a picture of him getting owned by Goose:

What crosscheck?

Andrej Sekera (Buffalo)- The namesake of the squad. I know it’s pretty unfair, but how can he not be on this team?

Love that photoshop, even if it may not make much sense.


L- Ben Eager (Chicago)- One point all year. He was traded to Chitown after this little incident:

What a beast Roberts is. I still can’t believe Tim Connolly didn’t die from that collision.

C- Dominic Moore (Toronto)- This one’s for personal reasons. I have like 300 of his rookie cards, and it’s a bit depressing when you see someone you’ve invested your fortune in suck so hard. He was traded by Pittsburgh at the deadline last year, and this year waived by Minnesota. Now he’s an active member of the Torono Maple Leafs. You can see why I hate him so.

Not only does he suck so bad he can only play for the Leafs, but his player notes read as follows: – Played a season-high (17:52) January 23 vs. Washington. Wow. Ice time is something to treasure, suckbag.

R- There are a lot of choices for this one. Trevor Letowski is pretty awful, and there a quite a few players with +/- numbers that make Dan Paille look like hockey Jesus. Still, I wanted to keep this one Sabres-centric and talk about Maxim Afinogenov.

Where did this guy go to?

Max has been on IR since January 4th from a groin injury I never saw him suffer. Unless he tweaked something on that shootout miss, which was awful, by the way.

After Max’s breakout year in 06-07 (averaged over a point a game), he just hasn’t been the same since a broken wrist suffered last spring. Afinogenov is one of those players that you love when he’s on and absolutely despise when he’s hurt or playing like he has ADD. There are times he will do the impossible and make you believe he is un-tradable, and there are times (or years) that he looks like a bust with great wheels and no finish. Injuries haven’t helped his cause this year, but you have to think he can turn the corner and become the player we all dream he can be.

For now, however, he makes the list. We’ll see if he can make it back into the lineup, but my hopes for Crazylegs have been seriously dimished.

If you have any suggestions for the ABT, feel free to bring them up. I’m sure there are some really bad players out there that I passed by…