Out of the Van, Marty

by Ryan

Man, sometimes you just have to love snow.

After enduring the past few weeks of sloppy, messy rain in January it’s just nice to go outside and see fresh powder. I’m done with green for a few months now, I’d take a foot of snow over 1/8th of January rain any day.

Today it snowed while the sun was shining bright. Awesome.

On that note, let’s go to Dallas to play some hockey.

The Dallas Stars are a really good hockey team. Actually, it’s been very rare to find a terrible Stars team since their move from the Hockey State. We all know about their Stanley Cup in 1999, and they have been a perennial playoff team in the West with “Captian America” Modano leading the way.

(A Brief Aside: Since the ’99 Finals I’ve seen and heard countless Stars fans, writers, and players say we should “get over it”; “it” being the overtime winner in Game 6. To be honest, I think that is a ridiculously stupid thing to say. We will never get over the fact that we lost that game, and there is nothing you can do to make it happen. You won your Cup, yes, but Mets fans don’t tell Sox fans to get over the ’86 World Series, so don’t you dare tell me to get over No Goal. I don’t scream from the high heavens about it’s injustice, I don’t have a bumper sticker on my car, but it still pisses me off.

You deal with that.)

Anyways, the Stars are really good, and even the optimist in me says this game is an L in the standings. They have two solid goaltenders in Marty Turco and Mike Smith, and we have a wavering Ryan Miller and a corpse with a girl’s name.


“What’s that? I can’t hear you because I suck out loud.”

I would call this game a test because Dallas is a good team, but to be honest this is a survival game. Play 60 minutes and get out alive. If we get points, huzzah!

It is sad that this team has degraded a hockey game to this level, but things are pretty bleak around here. So, let’s finish with a quick story about Marty Turco.

I had Marty Turco on my fantasy team last year. Because of this commercial, after every shutout my Yahoo avatar would scream “GET BACK IN THE VAN, MARTY!” Good times.

I drafted him again this year. Because of Mike Smith that hasn’t happened as much this year. The lesson is: Mike Smith kills everything that is good.

Let’s see if I agree with that statement in a few hours…