Impossible

by Ryan

This is normal Gary Roberts:

This is normal Tim Connolly:

This is impossible:

Actually, that is very likely, but this:

Is impossible.

Timmy Connolly should be dead.

The Sabres lost 2-0 tonight at the lackluster feet of Ty Conklin, but honestly after that hit it was sort of a moot point.

Seriously guys, there is no freaking way Tim and Gary Roberts should collide and Roberts end up in a heap. I’m as big a fan of Timmy as anyone, but I know Connolly, and he’s as fragile as they get. I mean, is there anyone on the Sabres you make “smelling burning feathers” jokes about other than Tim?

Tim Connolly has a cranial structure softer than tissue paper. He has been concussed more times than Troy Aikman. Tim Connolly is the reason I started using the term “concussed.” He is the only person I have ever heard of that has regained post concussion syndrome by flying in an airplane.

So… this is the guy that broke Gary Roberts’ leg?

Blasphemy.

I don’t have “another” hockey team, but I do like watching the Penguins, and I’m not ashamed to admit that Gary Roberts is the man. He is only second to Goose on my “meast power rankings”, and the fact that he won’t play in the Ice Bowl truly does cut me deep.

There will be better tributes than I can muster, but let it be known that today in the Goose’s Roost we mourn the loss of Gary Roberts. He will be missed on New Year’s Day, even though he will probably heal within the hour and search for Timmy to murder in cold blood.

On Tuesday, Gary, the wings are on us.

Godspeed.