The Real Post Game Interview

By Chris

Al Michaels: Well that’ll do it for this one as the unbeaten Patriots topple the Buffalo Bills 56-10 on Sunday Night Football. Let’s send it down to Andrea who’s got Tom Brady and Randy Moss on the sidelines.

Andrea Kremer: Thanks, Al. Sooooo Tom, why are you so great? I mean you were a real hunk out there. You made J.P. Losman look like a little girl. So what’s your secret?

Tom Brady: Well, I think it’s all just due to hard work, coaching and our offensive line.

Andrea: Oh come on, Tom. You’re sooooo awesome. It’s being said that you’re the best quarterback in the game today. I’d have to disagree. You’re the best quarterback ever.

Tom: Well, thanks. We work real hard in practice and we try to execute what we work on all week.

Andrea: You only won by 46 points tonight against these Bills, who are definitely not as great as you are, will Coach Belichick even be able to find a slice of Humble Pie to serve you guys, since you played soooo amazingly tonight?

Tom: Well I’m sure Coach will find something. We’ve got to watch the film tomorrow and see where we can become ever better.

Andrea: Tom, the historically great offense you’re leading capitalized on two fourth down conversions in the red zone when you were already up 30 points and you threw for five scores against this lowly Buffalo team. Can I carry your next child?

Tom: Haha. I think I may have some other ladies in mind.

Andrea (embarrassingly laughing it off): So Randy, Coach Belichick has already called you the smartest person he’s ever coached. Why are you so awesome?

Randy Moss: Coach said that? I think I’m gonna go throw a party now. You know Andrea, I’m on the Patriots now, what could be better?

Andrea: Well you could run for President. I think you’d beat Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton combined when it came down to it. Are you considering the election?

Randy: Well you never know. I am a Patriot now, so I am feeling pretty patriotic. You never know.

Andrea: Randy, you get away with pushing off on almost every play and you definitely did it on one of your four touchdowns tonight. Why do the refs love you so much that they don’t throw flags?

Randy: Well I think everyone is just really happy with our play right now. I’ve never had more fun in my career. I don’t feel like mooning anyone or anything right now. I’m just ready to move on and look to the Eagles.

Andrea: Thanks a lot guys. Al, back to you.

OK, so maybe I’m a little angry. Mainly at the Bills’ inability to sustain an offensive drive or make a defensive stop. But, man, do Andrea Kremer’s post game interviews make me want to slam my head into a concrete wall.

2 Comments

  1. Soup

    this post begs the question…..

    why the hell did you still have the game on after halftime?

  2. Chris

    i wanted to see the Great Ones break every record in the proverbial book.

    And to see if Gostkowski would kick six 50-yard field goals to save my fantasy squad.

    But I guess the Pats don’t kick field goals anymore…kind of a collective finger to Vinatieri.