So you’re a sports fan. And chances are you’re going to a Halloween party but haven’t put much thought into what you’re going to dress as. You’re best bet is to go as someone in the wide world of sports because that’s what you’re into. But what’s original? I know I’m still struggling to find a good costume that doesn’t involve an old Matt Barnaby jersey.
And while drunk Joe Namath seems too easy, here are other costume ideas that will make you look like an even bigger loser than you already are.
New Rule- No man should be allowed to perform an Irish jig in 40 degree weather while wearing nothing but compression shorts and UnderArmor. That is unless he can throw a 97 mile-an-hour fastball.
7. Bill Belichick:
It would be easy to throw on a Pats hoodie, carry around a freaking huge video camera and call yourself a cheater. The problem is that New England is so damn good and just doesn’t care anymore. Bill would eat you alive if he saw you were poking fun at him. This is for your own safety. You’d probably be better off wearing a bra and calling yourself the Mangenious. Except Mangenious might actually want to eat you.
6. Pokey Chatman:
You might as well go as a former college basketball coach who also happens to be a lesbian if you’re going to dress up for Halloween at all, right, guys? I mean, you can still flirt with all the slutty girls, right? Maybe this isn’t such a bad costume idea after all. Hmmm….
5. Don Imus:
The Crypt Keeper might actually be a better choice if you’re going for the creepy, bony, decaying old guy look. It’s essentially the same costume and at least as the Crypt Keeper, you won’t be accused of being a racist.
I was actually going to do this one. Then I remembered that I can’t buy a Vick anymore because Reebok stopped making them. And I don’t have any dogs to fight. Or herpes.
3. LeBron James:
Especially if you’re a white guy, the Yankees hat-LeBron Jersey will only make you look like a poser. And no one likes posers. Or blackface. Or redface.
2. Kevin Everett: Just not cool. And you’ll probably go to hell.
1. Chris Benoit:
When someone first told me that their friend dressed up as the Pegasus Kid, I could only shake my head. It’s even worse than dressing up as Eddie Guerrero. I mean paint yourself pale, tie a noose around your neck AND wear tights? That’s just taking it a little too far. No one wants to see your junk exposed, especially when you’re portraying a ‘roided up family killer. And you’ll probably go to hell for it, too. Just saying.