Smug and Disorderly Conduct

by Ryan

It’s been a week since the last Bills game we all had the pleasure to endure. I think it’s about time we start talking about some football again.

Let’s start with some news from the police blotter: Anthony Hargrove is $300 lighter after pleading guilty to disorderly conduct. No word on whether he will have to pay for the officer’s eyeglasses, but I think Anthony should at least throw in a roll of duct tape.

“It’s another thing I can finally get to put behind me,” Hargrove said outside court. “I really now get the focus on football.

Hopefully he will start to put some offensive linemen behind him as well.

In case you were in a MNF-induced exile from sports this week, yesterday The Smug Bowl took place in Dallas. I tried to do a bit of research on the game, but couldn’t read much more of this article after the author called Wade Phillips “whimsical.” To be honest, I couldn’t stop laughing.

The entire premise that Dallas was anywhere near the Patriots was just absolutely ridiculous. After a weak schedule and barely getting by a banged up Bills team, I know I wasn’t the only one who thought Wade and Jerry’s boys were in way over their heads.

Thankfully, Dreamboat Brady and the Pats went into Irving and melted some faces. I never thought I would actually type that sentence out, but you know if it ended anywhere near the spread we would still be hearing about the Great Tony Romo and his undying poise, which always keeps his team in the game.

Did anyone actually see Wade’s postgame press conference? He looked like a chubby schoolboy being reprimanded by a nun. I don’t think he ever actually looked up the entire time, and kept bowing his head in shame repeating “we have to get better, we have to get better.” Either Jerry had just finished rapping his knuckles with a ruler, or he knew Mrs. Phillips wouldn’t be making victory pudding that night.

Overall I was pleased by the games results. No one died in the impending Smug Storm, and it sets up a potential showdown with Indy in a few weeks. It also ensured the Cowboys fan behind me last week is still somewhere screaming about “TO Territory.” I’m sure that guy’s popcorn is nice and salty.