Sharing is the Bee’s Knees

by Ryan

Trent Edwards is the starter, blah blah blah. To me it’s something that really isn’t worth posting, because this has to be the worst QB Controversy of my lifetime. Neither Edwards nor Losman has done anything for me to say I want him as my starter, and Jauron and company are doing everything they can to flounder through this like the indecisive group of mediocrity they are.

What? They announced Edwards a day earlier than last week? Well whooptie freaking doo! That’s much better than waiting a week and a half after a bye week to announce him the first time. Listen boys, if you are going to throw JP under the bus, just go ahead and do it already. Quick and easy is best for everyone, just ask Kenny Lofton.

All I’m saying is that if Trent knocked your socks off enough to start him in the first place, stick to him and say he’s your guy for the year. Don’t carousel on me. What could have possibly changed from Sunday at 4pm to Tuesday morning when Marv sent me that text message? Did you think JP would promise to cut his emo bangs or something?

I guess my problem with the whole thing is that I like JP and Trent. It’s kind of the “like you but don’t like you like you” thing we all have when girls are still kinda icky. Sure, JP looks good at times and he’s your current fling, but when his parents move him to PM preschool and suddenly Trent is around, you don’t mind that either.

Then you start to notice all those check downs Trent goes to, and the uncanny pocket presence he has. Let’s face it, sometimes he makes you giggle. But when you giggle you remember all those times JP did the same thing as your relationship was developing. Some old guy named Vincent broke his leg once. Good times! Plus he likes your best friend Lee, and they play well together. Remember that time he threw to him twice deep and won that Houston game?

Hrm…after thinking about JP you start to notice the downside of thinking Trent is the bee’s knees. He makes a bad throw here and there, and sometimes he checks down a bit too much. Plus, he hasn’t exactly said he “likes you likes you” back, and sometimes he throws to the other team. Do you really want to go through the same motions you had to with JP just to get him as your quarterback? To put it plainly, Trent hasn’t blown your doors off, and suddenly JP is back in the morning Pre-K class.

So what happens now? Who do we give our extra fruit snacks to? Who’s our partner at activity time? After all, you can’t play checkers with three people. Um… little help, teach?

“Um… er… play with Trent. For this week. I’ll let you know about next week later…”

Thanks, Coach.

4 Comments

  1. JG

    Love this post. How true it is. I hate that Trent is playing just well enough to keep the starting job. It’d be better if he sucked balls and made it easy, or if he played really well. Know this, though. The Bills have only trailed for one second while trent was the starter. Food for thought.

  2. Rickey Henderson

    Rickey enjoys the humorous tone of this article.

    But just to make it perfectly clear: the Buffalo Bills are completely fucked.

  3. DCThrowback

    Proper fucked?

  4. twoeightnine

    Hot damn, finally someone wrote exactly what I could not properly find the words for.