Happy Birthday, Willis McGahee!

by Ryan

Thanks for all you’ve done for us! The big two-six, huh? Man, you’ve almost scored as many touchdowns as your age!

Those six touchdowns last year really meant something to us, buddy. So we all chipped in and got you something to celebrate with after the game.

So gather up the gaggle of children, load them up into the McGahee family minivan, and get ready to “Eat Good in the Neighborhood!” There’s a shiny new $24 on that card, one for every magical touchdown you gave us. I’m sure around these parts that can get you pretty far!

Oh don’t worry, Willis, it shouldn’t bee to hard to find find a store in the city. I mean, what else is there?

Hey, we were gonna get you the new Madden, but I figured you were sick of it after all those boring nights in the city. I hope you can keep your focus today, we wouldn’t want you getting hurt or anything.

So yeah, Happy Birthday.

Assclown.

One Comment

  1. Jay

    Well said. And excellent use of the “douchebag athelete” tag.