It’s been a while since our loyal readers have read anything new in the Roost, and with that comes our sincerest apologies. Nothing is more annoying than a dry-spell from a site that updates regularly.
Fact of the matter is, nothing has really happened that we consider, shall we say, Roost-worthy. Let’s examine.
ESPN’s Page 2 released a list of 50 current NFL players that are future HOF’ers. Included on the list: Reggie Bush and Vince Young (1 year of experience each), and more shockingly Calvin Johnson and Adrian Peterson (Combined snaps played: 0. Zilch. Nada.) But a column on that would have been too easy.
Page 2 also released this list in conjunction with the first. They really outdid themselves here. I was shocked that they put Mike Vick on their list of “10 big names that won’t make Canton.” I can’t even imagine how long the writers must have deliberated before coming to the conclusion that Jeremy Shockey will never be bronzed in Canton. Come on guys, common sense. No Roost commentary necessary.
Some guy (Jake Brown) that no one had ever heard of before this, fell about forty feet while competing in the X Games. He remains hospitalized with a liver and kidney complications, but is expected to make a full recovery. He did walk off under his own power, which is amazing considering the impact. While this may have been very close to making it in the Roost, none of us can give you real commentary on skateboarding, because I’m pretty sure we have never watched an extreme sporting event in our lives. The Goose’s Roost does not support adrenaline junkies.
We probably could have spun a few non-stories into stories. Barry Bonds stuck on 754 (Thank God), A-Rod stuck on 499, including an 0-21 stretch immediately following his 499th HR (and he had us thinking he could hit under pressure. Bastard), and Tom Glavine stuck at 299. If I could have lost any more respect for Bonds, I have. I’ve watched his last four or five games, and I find it utterly despicable that the man can not play a full 9 innings. The man does not belong in the league, and he’s only in it to have his name tied to the record (hopefully with an asterisk), because clearly the Giants aren’t going anywhere.
Although, the games are highly entertaining just to watch Barry’s family. Seeing his daughter and wife (at least i think it’s his wife) in the stands makes me laugh uncontrollably every single time. They look like they are watching a five-hour long opera while sitting on a chair of spikes.
But with Barry, A-Rod, and Tom not accomplishing their milestones, there is no story, really. And we don’t want to ramble and make you read a load of BS, because we value our readers.
Speaking of a load of BS, we were just incredibly lazy this past week. We aren’t so high and mighty to think that something has to be “Roost-worthy”, we are just lazy, lazy men enjoying our summers. Forgive us, please. More regular updates to come.