Fantasy Football will be the death of me…..

By Jon

Tomorrow is the day that I look forward to more than nearly any other day of the calendar year. That’s right ladies and gentlemen, tomorrow is the fifth annual Fig Nuts Fantasy Football Draft.

It’s true, folks. I look forward to my Fantasy Football draft more than my birthday, Thanksgiving, and Chrismahanukwanzaakuh, combined. Most will argue that this is a testament to the sad life of which I call my own, and to be perfectly honest, I would be inclined to agree.

A bit of background on Fig Nuts Fantasy football. Started before the 2003 season, a few of my close friends and I started a league based out our hometown of Lockport. Our first season resulted in us scrambling for teams to participate on draft night, and we had a somewhat successful inaugural season with an eight-team league despite none of us knowing what the hell we were doing. The next year we expanded to ten teams, with us switching over to a keeper-league format last year. We had one opening this year, and had four or five candidates to fill that spot (None other than the Roost’s own Ryan took that spot). We’ve come a long ways, and now owners show up to draft night with briefcases, laptops, and dozens of magazines.

I can’t really tell you why I enjoy it so much. Truth be told, my Fantasy strength most certainly does not rest in my drafting abilities. Ask any of my league-mates how my quarterbacking trio of Ben Roethlisberger, Kurt Warner, and Daunte Culpepper worked out last year. Note to self: Drafting players while thinking, “Hell, one of them has to pan out,” is a god-awful strategy.

Furthermore, predictability will reign supreme. I can put a Goose’s Roost guarantee that this is what will go down tomorrow night….

1) I will wait too long on a quarterback. Each year I convince myself that quarterbacks are a dime a dozen, and that I will be alright with a David Carr-esque QB leading my team.

2) I won’t be prepared. Every single freakin year I promise myself that I will read up, make lists, and go in with a strategy. Guess how much preparation I have done. Zip. Zero. Zilch.

3) I will put too much thought into who will be available at my next pick. I can’t tell you how many times I have waited one round too long for a player I want, only to have him snatched up three picks before me.

4) I will put far too little stock in tight ends, kickers, and defenses. Another note to self: A eighth-string wideout is not more important than a first string tight end.

5) I will be heavily distracted at some point. My ADD will kick in, and I will be forced to rush several picks as a result of not paying attention.

6) The team I criticize most will end up being the best team. Regardless of who it is, whomever picks the team that I deem the worst will win the league. Another reason why I suck at this game….

7) I will come out of the draft thinking I have the best team. I won’t. Guaranteed.

Despite all of this, I am going to walk into the draft room being the cockiest piece of crap that I can be. I feel like this is my year. I felt like last year was my year, and the year before, and so on and so forth. That’s what’s great about Fantasy Football, every year is your year.

Now if only we could say that about our hometown team…

One Comment

  1. Chris

    So will you be keeping Jeremy Stevens in the first round or Mark Bradley in the third? Or both?

    And I know you can’t wait for the special guests.