Dear Bucky Gleason,

by Ryan

It’s July. To say nothing is going on in the sporting world would be ridiculous. Sports news this July can be summed up with three names: Mike Vick, Tim Donaghy, and Barry Bonds.

It’s a depressing collection of trash to say the least, but don’t let that get you down, Bucky Gleason is here to make everything better. Wow, glad you put that all into perspective for us. Thank you Bucky, you nearsighted moron.

Listen, buddy, I know it’s July and there is nothing going on of interest in Buffalo, but that load of garbage you just made the news print is irreconcilable. I may go and plant a tree or two right now just to make up for your utter waste of printable newspaper. I’m still shocked that somehow you made 590 consecutive words morph into a huge, heaping pile of badger feces.

Just to be clear, let’s recap. Bucky blamed us for tampering with the NBA, dogfighting, Rae Carruth, rape, steriods, ticket prices, and Tonya Harding. Wow, I’m not even mad; that’s amazing.

But I guess we do owe Bucky an apology. It is our fault that we all don’t follow his vendetta against Sabres management. Of course many of us are upset with how the offseason has worked out, but none of us have been banging the war drums and insisting we knew things they didn’t. Now we are the true reason this offseason hasn’t worked out, and why ticket prices are going up eight percent, prompting him to lash out with this:

“Funny, but every time you hold people accountable in sports, you’re certain to hear from people who want to know why you’re picking on their favorite teams. Gee, I don’t know. My guess is that some of us are more interested in facts over self-serving fantasy. “

Ah, there it is again, our ignorant, uneducated ways clashing with his valliant effort to unearth the truth down at Sabres HQ.

Bucky Gleason has no right to tell us how to be fans. There is no need for lecture or scolding, no compulsatory retraining on his behalf. Telling a sports fan they are the cause of everything going wrong in sports is not only shortsighted, but utterly stupid. Just because we make the industry move doesn’t mean we are to blame for every misdeed found within. No Falcons fan wants Oookie doing God knows what in his home. No basketball fan wants the sancity of their game tampered with. No Sabres fan wants management to drop the ball on July 1st.

We, Bucky Gleason, are not enablers. We are fans. Fans of a pure, beautiful thing called “the game.” When the realted stories become more important then “the game,” we all bow our heads in shame.

Don’t you dare tell us otherwise.

One Comment

  1. Kevin

    I don’t think I like him much either…